Year End Reflections

The passage of one year--and in this case a decade--is a natural time to reflect on the past year and make plans, perhaps even resolutions for the new year. I'm taking a page from Michael Hyatt's end of year reflections blog. Michael Hyatt is the CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing and one of my favorite bloggers.

He suggests asking and answering the following questions as we put the passing year into perspective - and apply the lessons learned in 2009 to 2010.

1. If the last year were a movie of your life, what would the genre be? Drama, romance, adventure, comendy, tragedy, or a combination?

• I would describe my past year as a combination of adventure and tragedy. Tragedy may be a little harsh to describe job loss, especially since mine is a second income. Drama may be a better genre to describe the feelings and experiences that accompany job loss and the roller coaster of emotions that are part of the job search.

2. What were the two or three major themes that kept recurring?

• uncertainty and loss
• small, but certain evidences of God's care and provision despite uncertainty and loss
• blessing of caring family and friends

3. What did you accomplish this past year that you are the most proud of?

• launching my freelance business
• stepping out of my comfort zone to network and volunteer for new activities

4. What do you feel you should have been acknowledged for but weren't?

• what I could have contributed to my former employer as a freelancer/independent contractor

5. What diappointments or regrets did you experience this past year?

• loss of two important communities--co-workers and church family
• disappointment and regret that there have been no attempts at reconciliation with our former church family

6. What was missing from last year as you look back?

• enjoying each day for what it had to offer. I was more often too worried about finding another job.
• trusting God's promise that he has a purpose and plan for my life. I'm just impatient to see it.

7. What were the major life-lessons you learned this past year?

• greater discernment regarding various leadership styles and which styles resonate with me and are helpful to my growth
• while conflict is never in God's design, there are times that resolution does not happen, yet God accomplishes his purposes regardless. That was probably the most helpful and healing insight I took from Unpacking Forgiveness (Chris Braun), one of the books I read following our fallout with a church in which we had invested the last 2 1/2 years of our life. We've moved on and are being blessed in our current church home--and trust that God continues to bless our previous church.
• life is a journey--if I'm too comfortable in one spot I'm likely not growing spiritually. God makes himself known in the discomforts and difficult places of life.

I especially appreciate Hyatt's advice following this exercise. "Acknowledge the past and complete it. It's over. There's nothing you can do to change it. Close that chapter and turn to the next one." Good advice--which I am going to try to follow.
How about you? What year-end advice do you have?

Violated

Shock. Anger. Fear. Those are the emotions I felt this week when I discovered that someone was making unauthorized purchases on my bank account.

My first reaction was to wrack my brain for when or why I would have made the purchase. Given my current under-employment situation any purchase over $100 is cause for pause so I knew I had not made an on-line purchase for $400+ to some merchant I've never heard of. In quick succession I wondered, "Is this a bank error? If not, how did someone get my account information? What online transaction have I made lately that could have opened me up to this violation?"

After the shock, I was surprised at the strength of my anger and fear. Rape victims often speak of being violated. That was how I felt - my private, supposedly secure financial transactions were not; my 'trust' in my financial institution was betrayed. Despite the firewalls they erected and the safety precautions I used, someone had invaded my privacy. The line between anger and fear was blurry. How would I cover this month's expenses? What if the offender continues hitting my account? How do I stop this?

Thankfully, a second call to my bank's customer service department was more helpful in correcting the situation. Restrictions were placed on the card immediately, the process of replacing my debit card was begun, and best of all, the funds were restored - within 24 hours like they said.

In the aftermath I've been thinking about what my reaction says about my thoughts and feelings about money. We recently heard a stewardship sermon, reminding us, once again, that what we have is all God's. We are simply stewards of his good gifts. It's just another case where (for me) it's much easier to talk the talk than walk the talk. This was a pretty good reminder that I'm clinging more tightly to my bank account, than the One who graciously provides.