Twenty-three years ago after two weeks of Braxton Hicks contractions and seven hours of induced labor I gave birth to our third child, our only daughter, Allison. After grieving and doctoring through several years of secondary infertility earlier, having an 'unplanned' child and a daughter besides was a blessed delight, to be sure.
Delight turned to frustration and conflict in a few short years as Alli began to assert her independence--regarding the typical things--food--'Yes, I will have ketchup on my brownie'; clothes--'Yes, I will wear my swimming suit in January in Iowa'; and hair - 'Mother, why can't you do French braids!?' In retrospect those were minor skirmishes compared to the head-butting we engaged in through middle school and into high school. Aside from the typical adolescent self-centeredness, Alli's choice of friends was a point of much contention between us. We grudgingly allowed her to spend more time with one particularly toxic girl than we wanted, fearful that if we prohibited the relationship completely it would be that much more attractive and she would become even more defiant. Whenever possible we encouraged them to be at our home, so we would know where they were and have some idea of what they were up to.
To our relief, but to her great disappointment and pain, the 'friend's' true colors were finally uncovered only a few weeks into their freshman year of highschool. Cruelly betrayed by one she had considered to be a friend, Alli found herself sadly alone. A normally challenging transition time was even more so as she had to re-build friendships and figure out who she was without her friend's influence.
Delight turned to frustration and conflict in a few short years as Alli began to assert her independence--regarding the typical things--food--'Yes, I will have ketchup on my brownie'; clothes--'Yes, I will wear my swimming suit in January in Iowa'; and hair - 'Mother, why can't you do French braids!?' In retrospect those were minor skirmishes compared to the head-butting we engaged in through middle school and into high school. Aside from the typical adolescent self-centeredness, Alli's choice of friends was a point of much contention between us. We grudgingly allowed her to spend more time with one particularly toxic girl than we wanted, fearful that if we prohibited the relationship completely it would be that much more attractive and she would become even more defiant. Whenever possible we encouraged them to be at our home, so we would know where they were and have some idea of what they were up to.
To our relief, but to her great disappointment and pain, the 'friend's' true colors were finally uncovered only a few weeks into their freshman year of highschool. Cruelly betrayed by one she had considered to be a friend, Alli found herself sadly alone. A normally challenging transition time was even more so as she had to re-build friendships and figure out who she was without her friend's influence.
By the grace of God and lots of prayer and encouragement Alli emerged from highschool confident enough to venture off to a state university. Though she knew only a handful of students, and going to UNI meant leaving behind a 'serious' boyfriend, she persisted in her decision. One semester was enough to gain a new appreciation for the community she'd grown up in and transfer to the local college where most of her friends, including that increasingly serious boyfriend, were.
A year and a half ago that young man became her husband, our son-in-law; six months ago they graduated from college together and entered the working world. Our baby girl is a young woman--beautiful, competent, loving. It's been an exhausting, exhilirating, sometimes entertaining, always educational journey. I am immensely grateful for and proud of our daughter. Happy Birthday, Alli!
Well, I know I should comment but don't really know what to say - so thanks! I'm flattered. And you know I wouldn't have turned out so perfectly without some great parenting! ;)
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